


Memorare

by buriedandreset



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Lost Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:07:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26415403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buriedandreset/pseuds/buriedandreset
Summary: It is a fact that Bangalore and Wraith don't like each other much, but that wasn't always the case. There was a time when they liked each other, but then Renee Blasey volunteered for the experiments and everything changed.Will they be able to make peace with what has happened and move on? Will they find their way back to each other? Or will they find comfort in someone else's arms?
Relationships: Bangalore | Anita Williams/Wraith | Renee Blasey
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	Memorare

**Author's Note:**

> This story will be told in chapters and while it is set in the current setting of Season 6 of Apex Legends, it will also include numerous flashbacks to help tell the story. The chapters will also vary on which character is driving the narrative. First chapter is Bangalore's perspective, second chapter will be Wraith's, and so on.

Everything had once been great. Anita had been happy, and she’d thought she had it all. Well, mostly. But then everything suddenly changed, and once again she had been left powerless to do anything to fix what had been broken. There was something truly devastating to be around someone she loved, and to see that person be a complete stranger and she didn’t know why. It broke Anita’s heart every single time, but she never told anyone. She simply kept the pain and anger to herself and soldiered on. It was the only thing she could do to keep herself from falling apart.

And yet even Anita had her breaking point, and on the nights when she felt like she was going to break, she’d simply go to Elliot’s bar and have some drinks. Even if she’d prefer to be alone, someone was usually around that could distract her long enough for the alcohol to begin to settle in and before she knew it she was too tired to focus on what was silently destroying her.

“Mind if I join you?” A sultry voice practically purred from beside her. Anita didn’t need to look up to see who it was. Loba had a rather distinctive voice, after all.

“Knock yourself out,” Anita replied as she knocked back the rest of her drink and motioned for a refill.

“On nights like these, sometimes it’s best to not drink alone.” Loba noted, then ordered a drink for herself.

“Nights like these? Funny way of putting just hanging out a bar.”

Loba chuckled. “No matter how much you tell yourself that, you know it’s a lie. I know the look of being haunted when I see it. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. We all have something we would much rather forget about.”

Anita finally turned her head and eyed Loba. “I didn’t expect such wisdom from a high and mighty princess,” she quipped.

“What can I say? I’m full of surprises.” Loba quipped back with a smirk. “And don’t worry, I’m not going to pry. But I’ll make sure you get home in one piece.”

“Watching my back, huh? Did someone put a jewel on my back when I wasn’t looking?”

“Ha, ha, very funny,” Loba retorted in good humor. “You have a very lovely back, why wouldn’t I wish to watch it?”

“Hey princess, my eyes are up here,” Anita teased. Though she wasn’t exactly teasing about that. She had a bit of a sore spot when it came to people flirting with her. Sure, Loba making sure she got home in one piece wasn’t precisely flirting, but she’d been around the thief long enough to know that almost everything that came out of her mouth had some sort of flirtatious spin to it.

“Still got a sense of humor, good.” Loba said with a nod. “Just try not to hit the bottle too hard. My delicate features can’t carry you,” she teased.

“There’s hardly anything delicate about you, princess.” Anita commented as she took a sip of her new drink. And there wasn’t anything delicate about Loba. She was curvy, but she also had very sharp edges, and the edges weren’t just her finger nails either. Anita had noticed the edges right away. In some ways, that hard exterior seemed to be similar to the one Renee currently had. But Anita was trying to _not_ think about Renee at all here. “So what brings you to this fine establishment tonight?”

“I wanted a drink, simple as that.” And this time, it was just that simple. There were times when Loba wanted to forget her own demons, but tonight she was in a good state of mind. Or at least as good as one could expect after Revenant told her that she was his savior. It was a cruel twist of fate, in her point of view. The past twenty-five years she’d dreamt of one day getting revenge on the monster that had murdered her parents. And now by killing him, she’d be giving him exactly what he wanted. Dramatic irony was clearly at its finest here.

“I find that hard to believe. Nothing is ever really simple where you’re concerned.” Anita retorted. Ever since the thief had shown up, Anita hadn’t liked her. The woman was underhanded, considering her reputation, and thieves were not to be trusted. And yet Anita had been at fault for poking her nose where it didn’t precisely belong. “But I’m not gonna push it. I learned my lesson with that whole shit show with the device we were putting together.”

“Good to know you learn from past mistakes, Sergeant. Not everyone does.” In fact, it seemed to be a rare trait in the Outlands.

It was at that moment that Renee strode into the bar. Anita turned to see who came in, her posture stiffening and an icy exterior coming to the fore as she saw the brunette striding towards the bar. She seemed to have a displeased look on her face, though Anita couldn’t tell. She couldn’t read Renee these days, so for all she knew the woman was happy and not angry.

“Elliot, we need to talk.” Renee stated.

“Now?” Elliot whined from behind the bar. Renee just stared at him intensely before he relented and followed her into his office.

Loba noticed how Anita’s posture and demeanor had changed when Renee had come in, but she didn’t comment on it. She simply sipped her drink. It had been evident to her early on that Anita and Renee didn’t get along. Sometimes Loba wondered if Anita got along with _anyone_ , but she seemed to be rather close to Ramya. So she supposed the woman had some social skills to speak of.

Anita, on the other hand, couldn’t help but be taken down memory lane to a time when Renee hadn’t looked at her with cold indifference or cold contempt. It needed to be said that Anita didn’t understand _why_ Renee looked at her that way. Things had changed seemingly overnight, though for a long time, Anita had thought that Renee had died until they’d suddenly crossed paths when the Apex Games started up. The last time she’d seen her before that still sat like a poisoned seed in the pit of her stomach.

******

“I really don’t want you to do this, Ren. I don’t know what, exactly, you guys are doing, but I don’t like this.” Anita stated for about the millionth time.

“I know, I heard you the first million times you said it,” Renee responded dryly. It was teasing in nature, though there was an undertone in her voice that Anita had come to know. Renee was getting irritated by this. “It’s just we have no volunteers, and I refuse to make anyone do this against their will. I am willing to try, and pay the price.”

“You do know that the price could be your life, right? I don’t want to lose you.” Anita didn’t exactly show it, but she was terrified of losing Renee to whatever project she was working on. But that fear was showing through in her voice.

“I know, and I don’t want to die, but I want to do this,” Renee said softly, looking at her lover. “I promise you that if I survive, I will come back to you.” She lifted a hand and pressed it against Anita’s cheek. “If the worst happens, I don’t want you to hold onto it forever. Let yourself move on because I want you to be happy.”

Anita leaned into Renee’s touch, feeling emotions welling up within her at just the mere thought of her lover dying. Of course, she knew the risks of being involved with the IMC, and she knew Renee was a Science Pilot that could more than handle herself. But even so, the trained soldier in her couldn’t override her heart.

“I’ll hold you to your promise,” she responded. “I don’t like this, but I’m not going to stand in your way. Just know I’ll be here waiting for you, and know that I love you through it all.”

Renee couldn’t help but to smile at Anita’s words. “I love you, too.” Renee leaned her forehead against Anita’s, closing her eyes for some moments. “But for now, let’s just enjoy the here and now. What do you say?”

“I think that’s a perfect idea,” Anita responded. She then captured Renee’s lips in a deep, passionate kiss as she pulled her closer against her. She didn’t waste the experience either, and she poured all of her passion and love out that night. And Renee had returned the passion and love just as strongly.

******

To this day, that last night together still stuck with Anita. It was why she was so hurt and angry that Renee barely even spoke to her since they’d reunited. To Anita, Renee had broken her promise to come back to her. She may have come back, but she definitely didn’t come back to her. Hell, the woman hadn’t even tried to offer an explanation of where she’d been in the time that had passed between their last night together and when they’d ‘met’ for the Apex Games.

Clenching her jaw, Anita only barely managed to refrain herself from crushing the glass in her hand out of frustration and anger. Renee gave her the cold shoulder more often than not, so she tended to return the favor even if she did want answers. She needed to know why she suddenly didn’t matter to the woman she’d loved. Hell, she still loved her. She’d never really moved on. Even as time had dragged on, Anita had held onto the hope that one day Renee would walk through her door and they could pick up where they’d left off.

That hope had been unceremoniously destroyed when Renee had come back into her life, but not in the way she’d hoped. Oh, she was glad that Renee was _alive_ , of course. But it was like there was a completely different woman with Renee’s face now. When she looked into her eyes, she no longer saw the love or endless wonder she’d seen before. Now, everything was cold and detached. Almost like the woman was a robot made to look human.

It would certainly explain a lot if that was the truth. But it would also mean that the woman she loved was actually dead, and that was a pain that Anita refused to face. She couldn’t lose another person she’d loved. Which of course meant there was a sliver of hope buried within her that one day Renee would snap out of whatever state she was in and be the woman she loved again. There would be a lot they’d have to work through, but Anita could at least _try_ if she knew the Renee she knew was still in there.

Shaking her head, Anita suddenly realized she wasn’t in the comfort of her own home. She glanced at Loba out of the corner of her eye, but the woman was minding her own business. Good, Anita hadn’t attracted any attention from having drifted off in her own thoughts. She quickly downed the rest of her drink and set the glass on the counter.

“I should cut myself off there. Tell pretty boy to put it on my tab,” she said as she stood up.

“Roger,” Loba responded.

Anita gave her a little look before she turned and headed out of the bar. The woman didn’t have to take Anita being a soldier to that extreme all the time. It tended to be annoying. But it did at least give her something to pull her out of the memory of a happier time. Well, happier but also intensely sad.

One day, Anita would work up enough courage to confront Renee about what had happened, but that day was not today. One could call her a chicken, in that respect, but it definitely wasn’t easy confronting painful things like why Renee was so distant and cold. Anita needed to know, but she wasn’t sure she was ready to hear the truth. And part of her would feel bad about cornering Renee on the topic, but her lover wasn’t exactly coming to her. So the soldier would simply have to go to Renee.

At least on a day when alcohol wasn’t involved so she could have a clear head and not live to regret anything she might say in the heat of the moment due to alcohol. Not that she was drunk or anything, but she preferred being in full control when she had the serious talk she knew they needed to have. Until then, she was going to simply bide her time and try to tactfully approach the subject.

It wasn’t going to be easy, but then again, was anything like this ever easy?


End file.
